Ways to Beat Me in "Never Have I Ever" Because of 2016

For many, 2016 was a terrible year--filled with death, divisiveness, and plenty of other "d" words. So, I must acknowledge how fortunate I am to have even one of the below items on my list. I live an interesting, rewarding (read: #blessed) life. Still, let's all resolve to do better in 2017, yeah?

The following list consists of "Never Have I Ever"s that are no longer true:

Never have I ever...

1. served as a juror on a murder trial (AMA).

2. written about my pubes on the Interwebs.

3. attempted satirical film noir.

4. worked in NYC.

5. watched an entire season of The Bachelor.

6. cooked on Valentine's Day.

7. written for Elite Daily.

8. listened to my Uber driver's music (and enjoyed it).

9. had a piece published in an actual magazine.

10. been to Topgolf.

11. written landing page copy about premature ejaculation.

12. witnessed a proposal during lunch at Madison Square Park.

13. dreamt up sequels to a bunch of movies I enjoyed.

14. had an uncle who does magic of the hip-hop variety.

15. been in a dunk tank.

16. sat in the same room as Warren Buffett, Lloyd Blankfein, Michael Bloomberg, and Jack Dorsey.

17. gotten pulled over for speeding.

18. celebrated the wedding of one of my high school friends.

19. appeared on national television.

20. escaped the room.

21. worked remotely full-time.

22. watched a man scale a building on TV for over an hour.

23. completed a scavenger hunt around Williamsburg.

24. created a "choose your own adventure" story about what it's like to date me.

25. had Nick Swardson walk into a bar I was sitting in.

26. collaborated on a video script for the UN Foundation and President Obama.

27. suffered a hamstring injury.

28. participated in NaNoWriMo.

29. voted to have a female president.

30. appointed myself the leader of a movement.

31. been to multiple NFL games in one season.

32. attended a Google Hangout work meeting from a loud, Christmas-y Starbucks.

33. seen Mike Birbiglia live.

34. launched a podcast.

35. walked around Dyker Heights to see how much money rich people spend on Christmas decorations.

36. had hair long enough to cover my eyes.

*Make sure you call your mom on New Year's Eve, if you can. She'll appreciate it.